I see many newly divorced or separated fathers in my office who are good dads. They have been involved in their child’s life attending parent-teacher conferences and all of the holiday parties at the grade school.  They went because their wife had informed them of the school schedule and they made it a priority to show up.

And then they stop. Not because they are suddenly bad fathers or they stopped caring about their children, but because they lost their in-home secretary.

Newly divorced dads need to remember:

Your ex-wife is no longer responsible for keeping you apprised of your child’s schedule. Neither are young children. That’s why teachers send notes to parents.

Give the school office and your child’s teacher your email address and phone numbers. Many teachers communicate by email and it is easy to add your address to their email list.

Many schools have implemented websites where a parent can check grades and homework assignments for each child.  Make a practice of checking in regularly.

Look in your student’s backpack for notes sent home by the teacher. Don’t assume that this is your ex-wife’s job. If your ex-wife has had the kids for a few days, make a point of asking specifically about notes and communication from the school.

Show up at every event you can. Your children need reassurance that you and their mother divorced each other – not that you divorced them!

Written by G. Bowden McElroy, M.Ed.