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	<title>Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</title>
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		<title>Recommended Reading from Lois Trost</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/recommended-reading-from-lois-trost/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jul 2024 18:03:58 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>I listened to a radio interview a while back, and my interest piqued when I heard the title of a book being discussed. Seven Stupid Things People do to Mess Up Their Lives (and how not to do them) was written by Dr. Beau Adams....</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/recommended-reading-from-lois-trost/">Recommended Reading from Lois Trost</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><blockquote><p>I listened to a radio interview a while back, and my interest piqued when I heard the title of a book being discussed. Seven Stupid Things People do to Mess Up Their Lives (and how not to do them) was written by Dr. Beau Adams. In the interview, he shared insights on how the book of Proverbs provides wisdom on living life and gives directions for moral behavior and values.</p><h4>The first stupid thing listed is YOU FOLLOW THE WRONG CROWD.</h4><p>Proverbs 1:10 says, <span class="text-italic">&#8220;My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!&#8221;</span> warning not to let them draw you in. Escape by simply turning away and don’t feel bad about doing it. Once you compromise for acceptance and approval, it’s just varying degrees of what you are willing to do from there. The author suggests avoiding the wrong crowd by asking yourself, &#8220;Do these friends build up my life and make me a better person or do they lead me farther from Christ and closer to destruction?&#8221;</p><h4>The second stupid thing listed is THINKING YOU KNOW IT ALL.</h4><p>Proverbs 3:7 says, <span class="text-italic">&#8220;Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom…&#8221;</span> The scripture means never be impressed or satisfied with your own wisdom to the point you don’t seek counsel from the Lord for every area of your life. The author emphasizes here the role pride plays in your thinking.</p><h4>The third stupid thing is CHOOSING THE PATH OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY.</h4><p>The first thing to understand is you don’t suddenly find yourself in immorality. It is a path you follow because of choices you make. Dr. Adams states biblical ways to avoid the trap of sexual immorality including learning discernment through consequences.</p><h4>The fourth is BECOMING LAZY.</h4><p>Sometimes you miss out on experiencing some of the most wonderful things God has for you because you are too lazy to pursue them.</p><h4>The fifth stupid thing is OVERSPENDING AND INCURRING DEBT.</h4><p>The author breaks this into three categories stating &#8220;Some have dated debt, some have long-term relationships with debt, and many have been living in debt so long, they’re married to it.&#8221; Dr. Adams suggests living with gratitude for what you have is the key to living within your means.</p><h4>The sixth stupid thing is REFUSING TO CONTROL YOUR TONGUE.</h4><p>Proverbs 18:2 says, <span class="text-italic">&#8220;Words kill, words give life&#8221;</span>. This is a common problem we see in counseling and, fortunately, there are ways to recover.</p><h4>The seventh stupid thing is FAILING TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER.</h4><p>The price tag could be divorce, violence, injury, death, broken homes, job loss, and the list goes on. Proverbs 19:11 says, <span class="text-italic">&#8220;Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.&#8221;</span></p><p>I recommend this short book (96 pages) offering biblically backed principles to keep you on God’s path to becoming your best.</p><h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Lois Trost, M.S.W.</span></h4></blockquote></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/recommended-reading-from-lois-trost/">Recommended Reading from Lois Trost</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Kinds of Depression</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/kinds-of-depression/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jul 2024 17:17:45 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>There are many different types of depression. We will look at four major categories of depression. Brief reactive depression This type of depression is often known as grief, and occurs in response to a variety of losses including the loss of a loved one, friend,...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/kinds-of-depression/">Kinds of Depression</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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     <h3>There are many different types of depression.</h3>
          <p class="padding-left-base"><em>We will look at four major categories of depression.</em></p>
          <h4>Brief reactive depression</h4>
          <p>This type of depression is often known as grief, and occurs in response to a variety of losses including the loss of a loved one, friend, the loss of a job, the loss of physical health, a major financial set-back, or a response to life changes such as a promotion. Reactive depression, or grief, may initially be severe with symptoms gradually lessening over time. A significant loss such as the death of a child, or unexpected divorce, may take people up to two years to recover significant levels of functioning. Reactive depression may include sad mood, anger, and any of the other depressive symptoms listed above.</p>
          <h4>Major Depression</h4>
          <p>Major depressive episodes are severe and incapacitating. During major depression people are often unable to function at school, work, or take care of responsibilities. Major depression can be triggered by stressful events or significant loss. Major depression can be categorized as mild, moderate, severe, or severe with psychotic features. During a major depressive episode the mood is significantly more depressed and there is a significant increase in symptoms over a person&#8217;s normal pattern. Generally during a major depression, clients do not experience good days. Once a person recovers from a major depressive episode, they may never experience depression again, or the depression may be recur.</p>
          <h4>Dysthymia (Chronic Low Grade Depression)</h4>
          <p>Dysthymia is often characterized by poor self-esteem, self-depreciation, guilt, hopelessness, worry, and helplessness. Symptoms may also include any of the others symptoms from the checklist above. Dysthymia is generally a chronic condition lasting for many months to an entire lifetime. Generally symptoms of dysthymia are less severe than major depression. There may be good periods, but these are generally of short duration.</p>
          <h4>Bipolar (Manic-Depressive) Disorder</h4>
          <p>In manic depressive episodes there are wide mood swings that include severe symptoms of depression as indicated above, with alternating periods of manic behavior. Symptoms of a manic episode include:</p>
          <blockquote>
            <p>+ A significantly elevated mood</p>
            <p>+ Symptoms of extremely high self-esteem or grandiosity</p>
            <p>+ Decreased need for sleep</p>
            <p>+ Being more talkative than usual, difficulty being quiet</p>
            <p>+ Extreme distractibility</p>
            <p>+ Difficulty controlling extreme and excessive urges to: spend money, engage in sexual behavior, or other out of control behaviors</p>
          </blockquote>
          <p>In order to be diagnosed with manic-depressive disorder, a person must have experienced alternating periods of severe depression and manic behavior or mood. For some people with manic-depressive disorder, the mood may switch from extreme depression to extremely elevated mood in just a few minutes. For other people with manic-depressive disorder, the mood swing from extreme low to extreme high may take months or years with periods of relative normal functioning in between.</p>
          <p>Often the client experiencing a manic episode does not recognize that there is anything abnormal about their mood or behavior. They report &#8220;feeling good.&#8221; Family members are the most distressed and recognize that something is wrong.</p>
          <h4>Getting Help With Depression</h4>
          <p>Help starts with a clear diagnosis. We need to understand which type of depression you have in order to come up with an effective action plan. We can help you start the process to overcome depression.</p>
          <h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Dale Doty, M.S.W., Ph.D.</span></h4>
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<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/kinds-of-depression/">Kinds of Depression</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Talking to Children About COVID-19</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/talking-to-children-about-covid-19/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jul 2024 16:03:21 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>I’m watching a carefree boy teach himself tricks on a trampoline. He knows the word “pandemic” and is keenly aware of the fact that we have to stay home all the time. He knows these things but he has no idea how much energy I...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/talking-to-children-about-covid-19/">Talking to Children About COVID-19</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><blockquote><p>I’m watching a carefree boy teach himself tricks on a trampoline. He knows the word “pandemic” and is keenly aware of the fact that we have to stay home all the time. He knows these things but he has no idea how much energy I put into keeping him safe from an invisible enemy.</p><p>I first heard of coronavirus in December. I listened on as it made its way to other countries and finally to the States. Along the way I started to wonder, “How do I explain this to kids?” I have the pleasure of working as a therapist for children of all ages but explaining a prolonged, anxiety-inducing event to a 7-year-old can be tough.</p><p>There is a fine line when explaining the harsher realities of life to young ones. Too little information and the child’s imagination can run wild and too much information can overwhelm their emotional system. The general rule is “be honest to a developmentally appropriate level”. In other words, present a basic overview, avoid the stark details, and allow the child to ask questions. Answer questions as best you can but sometimes the best response is to explain that you will explain more when they’re older. If a child of 11 or 12 wants to know the more sobering details then more discussion would be in order. Below that age, do your best to help them feel confident in your ability to manage the world around them.</p><p>Although it is a great guide on how to handle difficult conversations, that rule of thumb does not tell you what to say specifically. So that left me fumbling around for a week before I figured out an adequate explanation. An explanation that presents the situation with the attitude that we, as people, can have some control over what happens. This is what I came up with…</p><ol class="padding-left-base"><li>Establish some connection with the child. If the child is upset help them to calm down. Be present, be quiet, and take long, slow breaths. Gently encourage them to do the same.</li><li>The Car Analogy (have a toy figure or doll and a toy car nearby)–<ul class="padding-left-small list-unstyled"><li>a. Begin by asking if they are afraid of cars driving by on the street. This typically elicits a “no” answer because they’re used to seeing cars every day.</li><li>b. Hand the figure/doll to them, explaining that they are the figure and you are the car.</li><li>c. Tell them that you are going to drive the car at their person slowly and you want them to show you what they would do if they were the person.</li><li>d. As you start to move the car slowly toward them, the child will most likely move the figure out of the way. If you do not see this, remind them to keep their person safe.</li></ul></li><li>The lesson of the demonstration is that the child is not afraid of cars because they know how to handle the situation. They stay out of the way.</li><li>The application is that they do not need to fear our current situation because we know what we can do. Although it pales in comparison to having a superpower, staying at home is the way we fight our unseen enemy.</li></ol><p>It’s okay if there are still more questions. Answer what you can but always find ways to stress that we have ways to manage this outbreak. If you’ve wondered how to handle this, you’re not alone. The first and biggest thing they need is you. Spending time with your child will help them to follow your lead. Your presence is better than your perfection.</p><h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Chris Hogue, M.A.</span></h4></blockquote></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/talking-to-children-about-covid-19/">Talking to Children About COVID-19</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Beating the Back to School Blues</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/beating-the-back-to-school-blues/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Sep 2022 15:16:10 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Jenny’s mother looks at Jenny’s fall 2022 educational progress report in shock. Her report states that Jenny’s reading and math calculation skills are “below grade level” and that Jenny appears sad, withdrawn throughout the school day and struggles to make friends. Jenny’s mother was happy...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/beating-the-back-to-school-blues/">Beating the Back to School Blues</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><div><div><p>Jenny’s mother looks at Jenny’s fall 2022 educational progress report in shock. Her report states that Jenny’s reading and math calculation skills are “below grade level” and that Jenny appears sad, withdrawn throughout the school day and struggles to make friends. Jenny’s mother was happy that her daughter was finally returning to full-time, in-person school for her third-grade year after several months of intermittent remote learning due to COVID-19 during her 1st and 2nd grade year. However, Jenny’s mother did not anticipate that Jenny’s teachers would describe Jenny as a student who was struggling upon her return.</p><p>Jenny’s story is all too common these days; numerous articles have described the struggle of children and adolescents returning to school after a lengthy period of virtual learning. Even high-achieving and socially well adjusted children are at risk for experiencing a variety of learning, academic, attention, and behavioral difficulties. Unfortunately, children and adolescents who previously were demonstrating deficits in these areas have shown increased gaps in development since returning to school.</p><p>Educational research has consistently found that children who have unidentified and untreated learning, academic, behavior, and social-emotional difficulties are at risk of experiencing more serious problems later on. Educational research has also shown that early identification and intervention is key to mitigate the impact of these issues on the child, their relationships, and their future. Psychological and psychoeducational evaluation is often a critical step in helpting to identify potential issues that can be addressed before they become too great…too overwhelming.</p><h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Renee Allen, Ph.D.</span><br />Psychologist</h4><h4> </h4><p>Oklahoma Psychological Evaluations (OPE) is a division of Christian Family Institute that specializes in the evaluation of children and teenagers with learning social and emotional difficulties.</p></div></div></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/beating-the-back-to-school-blues/">Beating the Back to School Blues</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Practicing Perception Correction</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/practicing-perception-correction/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2020 15:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>One facet of life that is true for every human being is that, regardless of our current circumstances, even when everything is spinning and out of control, we can always choose how we perceive our circumstances. Our perceptions (or beliefs) about our circumstances shape our...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/practicing-perception-correction/">Practicing Perception Correction</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><p>One facet of life that is true for every human being is that, regardless of our current circumstances, even when everything is spinning and out of control, we can always choose how we perceive our circumstances. Our perceptions (or beliefs) about our circumstances shape our feelings, and our feelings affect our behaviors, reactions, and responses to our circumstances. I have a personal exercise that I often engage in, and I have imparted this exercise to many of my clients. As we continue to face the many changes to our life circumstances due to the Coronavirus, I’d like to share this exercise with you and I think we can all benefit from practicing this exercise in the coming weeks.</p><p>Before I dive into the exercise, let me share one caveat. Emotions are not “good or bad,” “positive or negative,” “right or wrong.” God gifted us with emotions for many incredible purposes:</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>connecting with others</li><li>inspiring care for others</li><li>warning us when we are in danger</li><li>alerting us to unjust things</li><li>prompting us to slow down or take action, and many more</li></ul><p>Emotions are simply information. When we feel emotions, we should acknowledge the feeling, allow it to exist for a while, and then pair logic with that emotion to determine our next steps. Please do not read this exercise as a formula for stuffing away or shutting down every uncomfortable feeling.</p><p>COVID-19 has brought fear, uncertainty, dread, anger, boredom, loneliness, disappointment, despair, grief, stress, and many other emotions. These are entirely valid emotions when we look at the reality of the current circumstances in our world. However, living wrapped up in these emotions day by day is not ideal or necessary. Have you noticed that some days, the weight of our current circumstances feels lighter than others? That sometimes, we’re able to experience gratitude, peace, acceptance, trust, solace, happiness, playfulness, creativity, and joy? I think this massive fluctuation of emotion is common to all of us these days! I also believe that we have more control over our day to day emotional experience than we may realize. Let’s practice an exercise that will allow us to see exactly where we can exert control in our daily experiences to improve our mood or behavior.</p><h5>Practicing Perception Correction:</h5><p>Usually, our emotional state or behavior will serve as an indicator that we need to work on Perception Correction. When you recognize that you’re feeling an emotion that is uncomfortable to you, or you’re behaving in a way that is out of character for you, pause to consider the emotion or behavior, and then reflect on what thought, perception or belief is fueling them. Ask the Lord and yourself if there is an alternative, more gentle way to perceive the current circumstance.</p><p>I find it helpful to journal this exercise to take the emotions and thoughts that are rattling around in my brain, place them outside of myself, and look at them objectively. So, if you’re open to practicing this exercise with me, grab a piece of paper and a pen. Here is an illustration of one way that you can set up your page with boxes for each part of the exercise.</p><p><img decoding="async" class="img-responsive img-centered img-rounded img-thumbnail" src="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/assets/images/posts/practicing-perception-image-test.jpg" /></p><p>Take three deep, long slow breaths. Starting with the top row on the illustration, write down what circumstances or events might be contributing to the emotions or behavior you’ve been experiencing. Next, pause for a moment and identify 2-3 emotions you have been feeling today related to your chosen event or circumstance. Write them in the emotions box (the third box on the top row in the illustration). Next, consider how your emotions have caused you to behave. Write those observations in the behavior/reaction box (the fourth box on the top row in the illustration). With all the information you have so far, consider what perceptions or beliefs might fuel these emotions. (Write these in the second box on the top row of the illustration).</p><p>Once you’ve written down your thoughts or beliefs, pause to acknowledge that, while they contain some truth, they are not the entire truth. We can always shift our perceptions to impact our emotional state. Sometimes, we must change the size of the lens that we’re viewing things through; to expand our field of vision or narrow our field of vision. Maybe we need to ask ourselves, “what else is true?”. We may choose to reflect on a verse from the Bible or the lyrics of a favorite song that resonates with our soul and reminds us of truth. We may need to reflect on things that we are grateful for; gratitude is a huge perspective shifter. Whatever mode we use to explore our thoughts, I highly recommend inviting God into the process through prayer. Our Creator loves for us to come to Him with our life experiences. He longs to join us in this walk on Earth. He knows our deepest needs, and he loves it when we invite him to meet us there.</p><p>As you develop some new possible perceptions, thoughts, or beliefs, write them in the first box on the illustration’s second row. Practice reciting those new thoughts to yourself. You’ve been rehearsing the old thoughts for a while now, so it may take some effort to replace them with the new ideas. Next, consider how holding onto these new thoughts changes your emotions. Write your new set of emotions in the second box on the second row of the illustration. Finally, write down how this shift in thinking and feeling might impact your behavior or responses to the event (in the third box on the second row of the illustration).</p><p>I adapted this exercise from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a therapeutic approach that we at Christian Family Institute practice often. CBT has proven success in treating a wide array of concerns, including adjustment disorders, phobias, addictions, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and relational distress. I believe that you’ll have great success in practicing this exercise yourself. But I also know that there are times when our thoughts, perceptions, and beliefs are ingrained so deeply in our minds that we absolutely can not see another way to perceive the situation on our own. In these cases, I encourage you to reach out to a trusted friend or family member, share what you believe to be the truth, how that belief keeps you stuck in uncomfortable emotions and behaviors, and ask your friend to help you see things in a new way. I have a friend I practice this with often, and I can message her and say, “here is what I’m believing, help me see what’s true.” Sometimes she has a quick, clear response for me, sometimes she does not, but I can always count on her to encourage me and pray. I also invite you to reach out to us at Christian Family Institute for professional support as you move through those stuck spots. Remember what we always say at CFI, “Everyone encounters problems. Healthy People Seek Solutions”.</p><h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Jennifer Giles, M.S. LPC</span></h4></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/practicing-perception-correction/">Practicing Perception Correction</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>A Crash Course on Attachment Theory</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/a-crash-course-on-attachment-theory/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2020 15:40:03 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>In this time of crisis, we are all dealing with stress, changes, an uncertain future and understandable anxiety. Our marriages will be impacted. Many are predicting a rise in the rate of divorce in the near future. This does not have to be the case....</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/a-crash-course-on-attachment-theory/">A Crash Course on Attachment Theory</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><p>In this time of crisis, we are all dealing with stress, changes, an uncertain future and understandable anxiety. Our marriages will be impacted. Many are predicting a rise in the rate of divorce in the near future. This does not have to be the case. There are things that can be done to prevent trouble and maybe even turn this difficult time into an opportunity to strengthen relationships. What follows are some ideas that may help couples to deal with this troubling time and hopefully come out of it in a better place.</p><p>Talk with each other.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Schedule conversations. Intentional conversations are much more likely to be beneficial to relationships.<ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Make sure it isn’t always about problems, talk as friends do.</li><li>Explore dreams and plans for when this is all over.</li></ul></li><li>Bring up issues in a gentle manner, the way a conversation starts significantly impacts how the conversation will go.</li></ul><p>Don’t talk with each other.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Give each other some space. You are being forced together by these events, be intentional in giving each other some time alone.</li><li>Realize that we will need to get some of our social needs met away from the relationship. Allow each other the opportunity to connect with others via the different means of technology now available.</li></ul><p>Manage your stress.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Get some exercise.</li><li>Learn to relax.</li><li>Try some mindfulness tools like the app “Abide”.</li><li>Turn off the TV or other sources of news.</li><li>Use effective distraction in a reasonable manner.</li></ul><p>Be reasonable with your expectations.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Realize you will likely get on each other’s nerves at some point. Acknowledge it and give some space, as previously mentioned.</li><li>Realize that each person may react to stress differently. One partner may want to withdraw, and the other may want more interaction. Be cognizant of these differences.</li><li>Understand that affection and physical expression of love may not be what it normally is. Many will have a libido change as a reaction to stress. Most will decrease while a few may increase. If there is a mismatch, discuss it and don’t take it personally.</li></ul><p>Keep a sense of humor.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>One of the most powerful coping tools is a sense of humor. So, joke around with each other, but keep it respectful.</li><li>Find some entertainment that makes you laugh.</li></ul><p>Manage your thoughts.</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>Keep a positive perspective towards each other.</li><li>Focus on things you appreciate and want to expand in the relationship.</li><li>Be understanding and patient.</li><li>Don’t let yourself dwell on the stressors. Find useful distractions when you find yourself getting obsessive.</li></ul><p>Get help/See a therapist</p><ul class="padding-left-base"><li>If things become overwhelming, it may be time to get help. A professional therapist can help you sort things out, calm your mind, and give you tools to manage relationship stress.</li></ul><p>By the way, Christian Family Institute is offering therapy via telehealth. So you don’t even have to leave your home to get professional help.</p><p>In this challenging time, I have noticed that many families are taking advantage of this time to accomplish things around the house. They are getting projects done, like painting a room or starting a garden. Why not see this as a similar opportunity to accomplish something in your relationship.</p><h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Eric Clements, M.S. LPC</span></h4></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/a-crash-course-on-attachment-theory/">A Crash Course on Attachment Theory</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>The Gift of the Quarantine: Creative Connection</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/the-gift-of-the-quarantine-creative-connection/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2020 15:57:00 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”~ Brene Brown ~ God, in His infinite wisdom and grand design, created...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/the-gift-of-the-quarantine-creative-connection/">The Gift of the Quarantine: Creative Connection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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<blockquote>“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”<br /><span class="text-italic pull-right">~ Brene Brown ~</span></blockquote>
<hr />
<p>God, in His infinite wisdom and grand design, created humans with a survival-based need for connection. At birth, we enter this world fully dependent on others for our survival. But our needs go far beyond physical. Yes, we need others to feed us, shelter us, and protect us. But we also need intimate human connection to survive. We need to feel warm arms holding us, to see love reflected in the eyes of our caregivers, to receive frequent movement when our caregivers rock and sway with us, to feel gentle and firm touches on our skin. These intimate connection behaviors communicate safety to us and create an environment within our brains and bodies that is perfect for growth.</p>
<p>In our hurried society, we often miss opportunities for deep interpersonal connection. As I reflect on when our kids were tiny, I remember times when I would stand in the kitchen and talk with them as I made dinner or cleaned the counters. We would have sweet, silly, chatty conversations, but my mind was pulled in multiple directions and I was not down on their level, touching them and looking them in the eye. I remember realizing how important it was that I pause, sink down to their level, look them in the eye and smile a warm smile. Now that they are teens, and both are nearly my height, eye contact is easier to come by! But I still have to be intentional to pause and look them in the eye while we talk and to let them see the love and joy I feel for them reflected through my eyes.</p>
<p>As the coronavirus sweeps through the world, there absolutely are uncertainties that strike fear in us. We’ve had to make major shifts to the way we do life. But we are resilient people. We are creative. And we are finding ways to thrive in the midst of all of the change. So, join me as we make a mental shift and consider our current quarantine situation as a gift. We have been gifted time for connection, limited space to connect within, and limited people to connect with. We have been gifted the time to slow down and choose how we want to fill the hours of each day.</p>
<p>Let’s take a deeper look at the quote by Brene Brown. Connection is energy. Connection is a life force. Connection is the energy that exists in the space between two people when we engage in behaviors that cause one another to feel seen, heard and valued. Connection occurs when two individuals can give care to one another without obligation, receive care from one another without guilt, be authentically themselves without judgment, and experience safety, nurture and strength from the relationship. Doesn’t this sound like an incredible premise to base our family relationships? Isn’t this what we long for in our family relationships, but often lack the time to cultivate? Let’s embrace this gift, seize the opportunity we’ve been given, and see how our families emerge stronger and more connected following the quarantine.</p>
<p>As we creatively explore ways to connect, we will be most successful if we remember that our households are filled with individuals with very unique personalities, interests and needs, and we want to ensure that every household member feels seen, heard and valued. Most families have at least one individual who is not accustomed to voicing their ideas or opinions. So, explore ways to draw them out and include their interests in the family plans. Let’s practice Curiosity and Negotiation, seeking to know one another more intimately and negotiating to ensure that everyone’s relational needs are met. Many of the following suggestions encourage different members of the family to take the lead. This will certainly mean that there will be times when you’ll have to do something that is not generally fun or interesting to you. So, practice curiosity. Remember, that the goal is connection &#8211; seeing, hearing and valuing one another.</p>
<p>We can certainly do that, intentionally, in short bursts of time, right? Here are some ideas to get your creative interactions going.</p>
<ul class="padding-left-base">
<li>Create an activity jar &#8211; have each member of the family write down 5-10 activities on separate pieces of paper (all quarantine approved), add them to the jar, and pull one out each day during “activity jar” time</li>
<li>Share family meals &#8211; around the table, with no devices, engaging in dialogue. Consider having one family member plan the entire meal and be the master chef. Allow that person to decide if they prefer to prepare and serve the meal on their own, or if they want to have the family work together under their guidance.</li>
<li>Play board games or card games</li>
<li>Play games that require touch and eye contact</li>
<li>Engage in projects together</li>
<li>Create daily challenges</li>
<li>Exercise together</li>
<li>Find something that makes you LAUGH. And laugh often with your family.</li>
<li>Follow an artists’ tutorial together</li>
<li>Read a story aloud together</li>
<li>Ask open-ended questions &#8211; the Ungame offers a great array of prompts. Or you can use Google or Pinterest for a list of questions. Take turns asking and practice active listening.</li>
<li>Have your child or spouse introduce you to something they love</li>
<li>Teach your child or spouse something you loved to do as a child</li>
<li>Google mindfulness and practice a new mindfulness skill together daily to build up your “toolbox” of calming, grounding techniques. Respect that every individual’s toolbox will be unique. We can ALL benefit from developing a mindfulness practice</li>
<li>Make a list of people you’d like to show care to outside of your family, and plan out your deliveries or acts of kindness</li>
<li>Create skits, plays, or puppet shows</li>
<li>Look through old photos or videos. Share stories and memories with each other</li>
<li>Plan a family theme night &#8211; include theme-oriented clothing, foods, drinks, music and movies</li>
<li>After a few weeks of lots of togetherness, consider creating a family motto. Decide together what characteristics best describe your family and document it somewhere</li>
</ul>
<p>Studies have shown that fun, play, and creativity disarm fear. When we engage in fun, playful and creative activities, we give our brains and bodies a reprieve from the effects of fear (the flood of stress chemicals through the brain, tension in our muscles, racing mind, heart and breath). We are all experiencing high-stress states these days, and we need the balance that connection and fun can bring.</p>
<p>May God truly bless you and your loved ones with moments of fun, lightheartedness and connection.</p>
<h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Jennifer Giles, MS LPC</span></h4>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/the-gift-of-the-quarantine-creative-connection/">The Gift of the Quarantine: Creative Connection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Ride The Wave</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/ride-the-wave/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2020 15:46:00 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Handling Anxiety In The Midst Of A Pandemic COVID-19 has reached our shores, rolling in across the oceans from Asia and Europe. Cities on the East and West Coast were hit first and still have the majority of cases. The virus has slowly been working...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/ride-the-wave/">Ride The Wave</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><p class="small text-center">Handling Anxiety In The Midst Of A Pandemic</p><div><p>COVID-19 has reached our shores, rolling in across the oceans from Asia and Europe. Cities on the East and West Coast were hit first and still have the majority of cases. The virus has slowly been working its way into the middle of the country. Our country is on lockdown. Uncertainty is all around. We don’t know what is happening to our world, much less what to do about it. There is a lot of misinformation out there. Television and social media, where we go to get a lot of our news and information, are doing more to polarize us than to unite us. We see the boxes in the corner with the newest statistics, number of cases and death rates for here and around the world. The news just keeps getting worse.</p><p>At one end of the spectrum, fear and panic reign. We are sequestered in our homes! We can’t hang out with our friends and family! We can’t find toilet paper or hand sanitizer! Grocery shelves are bare! Restaurants are only offering curbside and delivery service! The movie theaters are closed! Non essential businesses are closed! March Madness was canceled! Sports fans are surviving on history and talk of possibilities! There aren’t enough ventilators! There aren’t enough masks! Cases of the virus are increasing exponentially! The sky is falling! The world is in crisis!</p><p>On the other end, are dismissiveness and rebellion. This is overblown! Why do we need to stay home, when there are no cases in our town? We’re going to the beach! We will hang out with our friends and family! There’s not enough toilet paper! We don’t need hand sanitizer! We’re angry that we can’t go to restaurants! We don’t go to movie theaters, anyway! We have plenty of ventilators, we won’t have it as bad as Italy! The regular flu is just as bad! They are just trying to scare us! The government is trying to control us and crash the economy! They’re lying to us! This is an over reaction and an abuse of power! The world is in crisis!</p><p>No matter where you come down on this spectrum, people are anxious. This is a unique event, and most of us have never seen anything like it. Very few people are alive and remember the Spanish Flu of 1918, or the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Even the shutdown after 9/11 only lasted a short time.</p><p>The common ground is uncertainty. Most people are trying to feel some control over their lives and the situations this pandemic and the reactions to it are causing. Waves of anxiety keep rolling in. The unknowns can be overwhelming. We don’t know how many are going to get sick with the virus, the numbers are still climbing. We don’t know how long our work and other day to day activities will be suspended. We don’t know what is going to happen when this pandemic is over.</p><p>How do we stay calm in the midst of the storm? How do we keep from being overwhelmed? I have a few suggestions for riding the wave. I am dividing our lives into five areas and providing a few suggestions for each. This list is not exhaustive. Be creative and come up with a few of your own!</p><div class="row"><div class="col-md-1"><p class="pull-right">Physical:</p></div><div class="col-md-11"><p>Stay rested. Get 7-8 hours sleep each night.<br />Move your body.<br /><span class="padding-left-small">Taking walks, in home workouts, gardening, and playing with your kids are good options.</span><br />Maintain good eating habits. Enough said!<br />Stay hydrated.</p></div></div><div class="row"><div class="col-md-1"><p class="pull-right">Mental:</p></div><div class="col-md-11"><p>Educate yourself. Find reliable sources of information.<br />Limit your intake of news and social media.<br />Read a good book.<br />Maintain good physical habits. (see above)<br />Work on hobbies and projects around the house.<br />For those working at home, maintain structure and good boundaries around work and family time. Ideally a separate space for work is recommended.</p></div></div><div class="row"><div class="col-md-1"><p class="pull-right">Social:</p></div><div class="col-md-11"><p>Enjoy your extra time with your family. Maintain some structure. Parents play with your children.<br />Use social media to stay in touch with friends and extended family. Caution: scrolling is addictive!<br />Go old school, telephone or send cards and/or letters to friends and relatives.<br />Make use of the video options to have virtual activity with others.</p></div></div><div class="row"><div class="col-md-1"><p class="pull-right">Emotional:</p></div><div class="col-md-11"><p>Focus your thoughts on the positive things in your life. Count your blessings!<br />Learn and/or use coping tools for managing anxiety. Deep breathing, grounding exercises, mindfulness, and meditation are easily learned and practiced. If you are unaware of or don’t know how to use these tools, the Internet has lots of information.<br />Memorize Philippians 4:8 which tells us to think on these things: whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable. This is a great verse to use in some of the activities listed above.<br />Maintain good habits in other areas of your life.</p></div></div><div class="row"><div class="col-md-1"><p class="pull-right">Spiritual:</p></div><div class="col-md-11"><p>Remind yourself that God is in control, no matter how chaotic things look around us.<br />Pray and rehearse your faith.<br />Read scripture.<br />Give to and serve others.<br />Keep in touch with your churches and virtual activities offered.</p></div></div><p>We can’t know or manage the future, but we can have some control in the present. I encourage you to control what you can, realizing that that is limited. Stay present and focused on today. The Bible instructs us over and over to not be anxious about tomorrow, but to take care of today. That keeps some of the uncertainty at bay, which allows us to better enjoy the moments of each day.</p><p>You can’t always choose what happens around us and to us, but try to remember that you can choose what you focus on and what actions you take. What you focus on grows. If you focus on the uncertainty, your anxiety will grow. If you focus on what you can actually do something about, your feelings of control grow.</p><p>The waves of COVID-19 continues to roll in. Uncertainty is all around us. You can be overwhelmed and fearful, engulfed and beaten down, or ride the wave and feel empowered.</p><p>The apostle Paul wrote the following while he was under house arrest in Rome. (Some of you may feel like you can identify!) I have a hunch that this was his way of riding the wave.</p><div class="row"><div class="col-md-6 col-md-offset-3"><p class="text-center text-italic">Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</p><p class="text-center text-italic">(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)</p></div></div></div></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/ride-the-wave/">Ride The Wave</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Staff Holiday Traditions</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Nov 2019 18:13:00 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends. Margaret Thatcher Here, have a cuppa virtual eggnog, reminisce, and consider some alternative holiday traditions with us. Chris Hogue One of my favorite traditions is...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/staff-holiday-traditions/">Staff Holiday Traditions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post"><blockquote><p class="text-bold text-italic text-md">Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends.</p><p class="text-right text-bold">Margaret Thatcher</p><p class="text-md">Here, have a cuppa virtual eggnog, reminisce, and consider some alternative holiday traditions with us.</p><div class="article-post-2"><img decoding="async" class="img-thumbnail img-left" src="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/assets/images/posts/holiday-traditions-1-150x150.jpg" alt="Christmas Traditions" /><h4>Chris Hogue</h4><p class="lead">One of my favorite traditions is unwrapping my gifts, as, slowly, as, possible. This leads to an apoplectic reaction from my wife who has been counting the minutes until she can open gifts since Santa finishes the Thanksgiving Day Parade. It, is, so, much, fun!</p></div><div class="article-post-2"><img decoding="async" class="img-thumbnail img-left" src="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/assets/images/posts/holiday-traditions-2-150x150.jpg" alt="Christmas Traditions" /><h4>Jennifer Giles</h4><p class="lead">I love decorating the Christmas tree with my family. Re-discovering ornaments from my childhood, and from our daughter’s childhoods, is a joy. And I especially love looking at the hand painted ornaments that Chris’ Great Aunt Gene made for him and for us through the years. Our tree is covered in ornaments that hold a lot of meaning to me.</p></div><div class="article-post-2"><img decoding="async" class="img-thumbnail img-left" src="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/assets/images/posts/holiday-traditions-3-150x150.jpg" alt="Christmas Traditions" /><h4>Dr. William Berman</h4><p class="lead">Born and raised in a Jewish family, my favorite Chanukah memory is getting to open one gift every night for 8 nights. My Christian friends envied me.</p></div><div class="article-post-2"><img decoding="async" class="img-thumbnail img-left" src="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/assets/images/posts/holiday-traditions-4-150x150.png" alt="Christmas Traditions" /><h4>Annie Matthews</h4><p class="lead">Lutefisk. For those with Scandinavian influences, you know what this is: cod fish soaked in lye long enough to make it gelatinous, purported to produce hair on chests. Once you get over calling it “fish jello,” it’s really not so bad.</p></div></blockquote></form></section>								</div>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/staff-holiday-traditions/">Staff Holiday Traditions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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		<title>Threats and Warning Signs of Possible Violence</title>
		<link>https://okpsychevals.com/threats-and-warning-signs-of-possible-violence/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Sep 2019 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>The news is filled with stories of horrific violence. It would seem that violence and terrorism is common due to the amount of coverage of these events by the media. In fact, violent crime is down in America, with only rare exceptions. When should we...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/threats-and-warning-signs-of-possible-violence/">Threats and Warning Signs of Possible Violence</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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									<section><form action="https://www.christianfamilyinstitute.com/readmore.aspx?id=114" method="post">
<blockquote>
<p>The news is filled with stories of horrific violence. It would seem that violence and terrorism is common due to the amount of coverage of these events by the media. In fact, violent crime is down in America, with only rare exceptions.</p>
<p>When should we be concerned? The slogan promoted by the Department of Homeland Security is <strong>SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING</strong>. Do you know what to watch for?</p>
<p>Most acts of violence are preceded by warning signs. The following is a list of warning signs of violence, that though rare, should cause us to take notice if we observe or experience them:</p>
<div class="row padding-top-small padding-left-base">
<div class="col-lg-6 col-md-6 col-sm-12">
<ul>
<li>Threatening, speech, text messages, social media postings. These threats could be direct, implied, or veiled</li>
<li>Workplace bullying, threats, erratic behavior, bizarre behavior, angry fired employees</li>
<li>People nursing grudges, perceived injustices, or rejection</li>
<li>Obsessions with extreme or radical political or religious views</li>
<li>Preoccupation with violence and violent people</li>
<li>A person researching means of violence</li>
<li>Obsession with and access to weapons</li>
<li>A person that is rapidly deteriorating in their thinking or behavior</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>Obsessional Stalking</li>
<li>Rejected obsessed lovers</li>
<li>Intimate partner violence</li>
<li>Cyber threats</li>
<li>Cyber-stalking</li>
<li>School bullying or other violence, such as fighting</li>
<li>School threats</li>
<li>Suicidal attempts or threats, direct, veiled</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p>This is not an exhaustive list. No one of these factors conclusively predicts a person is a danger, however, a combination of these factors significantly increases the risk of violence. Reporting concerning behaviors is saving lives across America. Violent acts are being stopped before they happen because observant citizens are watching out for danger and making appropriate reports.</p>
<p>If you believe a person could be a danger to you or others, <strong>SAY SOMETHING</strong>. Immediate concerns should be reported to friends and family. Call <strong>911</strong> to report your concerns.</p>
<p>Also, tips can be reported to the local field office of the <strong>FBI</strong> in Oklahoma City at <strong>(405) 290-7770</strong>.</p>
<p>If a threat involves a student, or a threat is made toward students or a school, contact the Administration of that school directly, as well as calling 911. Also, a national online reporting system takes anonymous tips online at: <a href="http://www.saysomething.net/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.saysomething.net</a>. This system is operated by Sandy Hook Promise, a national non-profit organization.</p>
<p class="text-danger"><strong>If you are concerned about an eminent threat, call these options until someone will listen.</strong></p>
<p>For more information on preventing violence see the National Threat Assessment Center (NTAC) at: <a href="https://www.secretservice.gov/protection/ntac/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.secretservice.gov/protection/ntac/</a></p>
<p>If you have been traumatized by violence, or threats of violence, contact a mental health professional specializing in trauma and threat assessment and management.</p>
<p>If you would like further training for your organization, please contact me:</p>
<ul class="padding-left-base media-list">
<li>&#8211; Dale R. Doty, Ph.D.</li>
<li>&#8211; Christian Family Institute</li>
<li>&#8211; Member, Association of Threat Assessment Professionals</li>
<li>&#8211; Licensed Clinical Social Worker</li>
<li>&#8211; Licensed Marital and Family Institute</li>
<li>&#8211; (918) 745-0095</li>
</ul>
<h4>Written by <span class="cfiteal">Dale R. Doty, Ph.D.</span></h4>
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		<p>The post <a href="https://okpsychevals.com/threats-and-warning-signs-of-possible-violence/">Threats and Warning Signs of Possible Violence</a> appeared first on <a href="https://okpsychevals.com">Oklahoma Psychological Evaluation</a>.</p>
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