Self injury tends to be a misunderstood behavior.

The most common assumptions of self injury are that it is a suicide attempt or an attempt to seek attention. In reality the most common reasons for self harm are: attempts to relieve and express overwhelming emotional pain, attempts to control what feels like an out of control life, and in some instances, self injury is used to relieve feelings of numbness.

When someone you love harms themselves through cutting, burning and other ways, it is difficult to understand why that person would do something that seems so extreme and painful. It is important to realize that even if you do not understand it, self-harm is an outlet for some to cope with intense emotional issues.

The way in which you react can have an enormous impact on your loved one.

Here are a few suggestions:

Do not overreact. Be calm and understanding.

Do not judge them or make them feel stupid. Be compassionate.

Listen to the feelings and the struggle, but do not problem solve.

Do not expect them to stop immediately. They need to develop other means of coping, and this may take time.

Help them find a professional to talk to. A trained therapist can help your loved one develop alternative coping skills and sort through issues with which they struggle.

Self injury is a growing method of coping with emotional pain in our society. As a friend or family member, your response to and understanding of this growing problem is vital. This is an opportunity to show love and compassion to someone who may desperately need it.

Written by Jill Butler, M.S.